Today marks a full year of me completely not going anywhere outside Indonesia. Yours truly is now officially a domestic person.
At risk of sounding like a total snob or whatever, I honestly have never stayed in the country for so long since 2008. It actually feels almost unreal now that I’ve gone fully domestic for so long now.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way claiming myself as a world traveler or the like, oh no no. I am definitely not loaded enough to do so nor do I have the free time. I’ve only gone to a tiny bit of countries every now and then.
It’s just that.. There’s always that tiny excitement of being completely anonymous in a completely unfamiliar place. That sense of not having anything to look after but yourself and your happiness. The liberating feeling of being detached from your daily thoughts & worries. I need to regain that to keep my mind working well.
Sigh. Right, self. First we get through whatever is happening right now, then we go wandering off to sun shine and fresh air, alright? One step at a time.
Funny thing they are, springs. Sure, you get them flowers blooming all pretty and whatnot, but you also still get the cold chill, you get the pollen allergy, rain and all. But then really, how can you mind it when it’s that pretty outside?
I went to the UK last month-ish. Anyone who knows me since way back then would know how major this is for me. Or at least how major that should have been. Liverpool and London, for 11 days. Sounds like the stuff I had been dreaming of since I was.. I don’t know, 9-10 years old? You’d probably guess that second sentence should’ve been “OMG YOU GUYS! I FINALLY GOT TO GO TO THE UK!”. Alas, of course something had to happen.. or some things, more like. Work just happened to become nearly unbearable. School exam got postponed to the exact week of my leaving. A certain little heartbreak happened. Health problems ensued.
I really hope nobody will ever get to feel the way I did just before boarding my flight. Knowing that you’re going to the place you’ve been dreaming of for a long long time, and not actually wanting to go at all, not sure if you’re going to want to do anything at all there. That felt utterly terrible, that much I can say.
As if it wasn’t enough, the weather in Liverpool was not sparing me any mercy at all. I’m a fairly tough girl, but under the need of serious medication and high fever after more than 24 hours of traveling, the slightest gust of wind sent me spiraling for a bit. I was so sure that trip was doomed right from the start.
Somehow, ironically, it was something told by the said heartbreaker that suddenly clicked within my head one day while aimlessly strolling through the city: “This is the spring time for you. Things are planted. Wait for them to grow”. I looked outside right away and the view was the one I had posted above.
Nobody could have told me that wasn’t a sign that things are going to turn around.
Sure enough, I started feeling heaps better and finally started enjoying the remainder of the trip. Even more so, the weather in London just happened to be lovely as I got there. I don’t care how Londoners said it was technically the hottest Easter they’ve had in a really long time, to me it was great weather, full stop. Bad mood and sentimentality (and also sickness) aside, I managed to have a great time and enjoyed myself. I finally got my chance to enjoy the UK. Best of all, I managed to ride out the intrusive thoughts and not come home a complete wreck.
You have no idea how thankful I am to have made this progress. Hey, any progress, no matter how small, is progress nonetheless. At least I got to claim this little victory for now. And damnit, this girl with a lot going on in her mind and body actually managed to balance work, life, and health. Tell me you wouldn’t be thankful if it was you. You can’t tell me I’m not getting better. I may not be much healthier now, but I’m definitely living with myself way better.
Truth be told, I wasn’t sure whether I was going until the weekend before. Not with all that was going on in my head. But then again, I had the tickets, reservations, visa, everything. I literally took off to the airport only thinking “Well, it would have been a bigger waste if I had ended up not going”.
In all fairness, it didn’t really take my mind 100% off of things. Especially not about you, in case you’re reading this (and I’m sure you know who you are).
However, it certainly was nice to get away from my own thoughts. God knows I haven’t been in the best mental state these days, and the trip really served as a good distraction. 7 days of only thinking about where to go and what new sights to see was definitely a much needed change.
And also, what better way than a 7-day trip topped off by a 7-hour flight to make me realize that I actually have other things to think about. It’s like the big blinking “JUST CHILL ALREADY” sign finally went on in my brain.
I’m not suddenly going to get all “I’m a world traveler” and the like, God knows when I’m going to even be able to secure another day of leave. But yes, this was a nice little sobering trip away from all the mess in my head.
Really hope there will be more chances alike, though I’m not sure when.
It has been a while since I last went to a gig (last time was.. Rolling Stones? oh Jesus, that was friggin’ 2014!), plus I nearly ditched the idea due to last-minute travel plan changes, plus the amazing rainstorm that welcomed me back in SG Friday afternoon. But you know what? I’m glad I decided to still go anyway.
In no particular order, the five places that I want need to visit are:
Now this, I’ve always wanted to go. Nearly everything about the country has intrigued me for the longest time. My love story with Indian food during my stay in Singapore was the stuff of legend. Considering that now I have so many friends in various parts of the country, it’s almost a big shame how I haven’t visited the country yet.
Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam
Yes, I know I’ve been here before, but it was back still in winter time. I need, and I must, go back there during spring or summer and experience the sunflowers, on top of the marvellous collection in the museum. I know for sure that place is one place I will always enjoy being at, no matter what time. I know I haven’t been to a lot of museums in my life, but I do know for sure that I am that much in love with this place.
Usually when I tell people about this particular wish on my bucket list, they just go “Why don’t you just go to Bali? It’s pretty much the same”. I know I haven’t made it there yet, but I’m sure it’ll be different. I’m not so much a beach person, but I certainly would love me some ocean breeze. Plus, the culture and the way people just live so chill most of the time, I just need to experience it at least once.
Pretty much an obvious thing to be put here. I need to be in Liverpool, end of story. Why? Where do you want me to start? The music? The culture? The football? Do I need to explain myself any further on this one?
So yes, blame the Werderaner in me. But seriously, I personally find it infuriating how I’ve been to Germany twice and yet both times I couldn’t manage to visit Bremen. Yes, still mentally kicking myself in the head for this. I do need to visit Bremen, with the special agenda which is to watch a Werder game (duhhhh) in Weserstadion. Plus, a stadium by the riverside? With the world’s awesome-est floodlights and all? Hell yes, I definitely need to be there.